Only 1 month left!

It seems so strange. We have been waiting so long for this and I can't seem to get myself motivated. I have planned in my head for over a year now just what I would do to prepare for your homecoming and now that it is almost here, I just can't seem to do anything. I think I am afraid that maybe the army will change dates on us. It doesn't seem real to me. I guess I got so used to being miserable most of the time that I can't get myself out of it.
Rest assured that I won't let you down...You know I will be well prepared for you, just not as organized as I usually am!
I hope you will be OK. I know in my heart that everything is going to be fine. Just like when you were home on leave...we talked about whether it would be awkward and it wasn't at all. I know we both felt 100% comfortable...just like you never left.
Do you remember the day you flew back to Iraq? That was the worst day of my life. I thought when you first left was bad but that was unbearable. I remember sobbing so badly that I had to pull over on the way home. I couldn't see a foot in front of me. I think of that day and how terrible I felt and it reassures me that everything will be ok. I know we have both changed in so many ways but the love I have for you has only grown and there is noone in this world that I would want to be with other than you.